Playing Solitaire
by Colors-of-Fire
Summary: Change is a big part of life. Yuki-Onna surely thinks so. But her change may seem to be for the worst. Will she be able to revive the cheerful snow girl whom she had discarded? RikuOnna.
1. My frozen self

Sometimes I wonder why I was so naive. Years ago I used to fantasize that my master had accepted my emotions, and we had _true_ trust, in which he would return my own trust. As his aide, I am not supposed to love him. I am supposed to be his pet who obeys everything he says. One who will not get in his way. One who will never become a burden.

Only a few years have he been the supreme commander of the Nura Clan when I had finally realized my place. I am ice. I am cold, bitter, and silent. I am snow. I am strong, merciless, and I freeze anyone as I please. But I am Yuki-Onna. I am one of the aides for Master Rikuo. I can no longer do as I please. My actions are made only on the command of my master. And so I had lived up to my icy dub of 'Snow Woman'. Because that is what my name means. And it is all thanks to Ienaga Kana. The Kana that I had once saw as my rival. One that I had once hated.

She had taken the accursed warmness that had once lingered inside me as she took the love of my master. I know see her as my light to my _true _self. One who had been sealed inside a cheerful smile. But no. I do not miss the young and innocent snow girl I had once been. She would only bring demise to the supreme commander of the Nura Clan. Besides, now master looks up to me more.

His day form seems to appreciate the fact that I do not intrude in his personal business that much anymore. And his night form seems… I can't quiet say, but he gives me the duties I deserve. He seems to appreciate that I am not so naive and useless, because I know that he is annoyed at the countless times when he has to come to my rescue. But do not worry master. That will not happen again. And it has not happened again.

I still smile for my master's sake, though. But I just don't mean in it like I used to. Long story short, I could care less about myself, the world, and him. And yet, I am still forced to guard the one person who will never truly look at me, and smile.

Now I do as master says. If he says stand aside, then I will. If he says, stay here, then I will. If he says die, then I will. With no sign of hesitation seen or felt. I rarely go to school anymore. I do if master tells me to. But if not, I stay put at home.

Speaking of school, my master is now in high school as a sophomore. I'm very happy for him, as is Aotabo. He grows stronger day by day, his night form and his day form. But once Kana moved away, master was devastated and I knew that he needed my protection more than ever. I started to train harder and harder so I could match with his enemies.

Every day I would learn new spells, finishing a single spell book in a month or so. I'm very proud of my power now. I'm very glad that I let my old self go. She was always getting in my way.

* * *

><p>"Now, now, master. You should not move around so much. Your fever is quiet bad." Yuki-Onna said to her master with her tea sitting neatly in my hands. He has a bad fever ever since his battle with a water yokai the other day. "You may never heal at this rate."<p>

Rikuo snorted as he lay in his bed. A normal sized compress on his head, and no longer a small glacier inside a plastic bag. "Tsurara, it's just a fever…" He mumbled. Eyes rolling, and his palms clenching and unclenching for no apparent reason.

"Very well then master, if you believe that you are not very sick, I'll tell your grandfather that you will attend today's meeting…" She said as I took a small sip of her tea. Not a single hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"No, no, it's not like that…" Her master said, assuring her. "Sheesh, Tsurara… You underestimate a lot of things these days…"

"I find it as a get away from exaggerating everything like I used to." She replied sharply.

Rikuo stared at her in utter silence. He barely recognized her anymore. No more perky and happy Yuki-Onna. No more cute little giggles or blushes that once had been one of the things he saw unique in her. No more innocent and clumsy little Yuki-Onna. Sighing for no apparent reason, Rikuo averted his gaze to the ceiling and closed his eyes not long afterwards. Yuki-Onna scoffed and muttered, "The young master is so naive…"

Suddenly, Yuki-Onna heard footsteps coming down the hallway, her attention quickly directed towards to sound. Then, the door slid open. Creaking sounds the door made rung in her ears unpleasantly. Someone should really fix that stupid door.

"Oh, Ao. You scared me, there." She said, sighing and returning to her tea.

"Yuki-Onna, Master Nurarihyon wishes to see you." Came Aotabo's low voice.

"Hmm..." She sighed nodded, but looked at her master. "Will you need company while I am not here, master?"

He merely shook his head subconsciously. Yuki-Onna nodded her head and went out the sliding door towards Master Nurarihyon's living room, leaving her tea behind. She didn't really have any attention in finishing it anyway. She just like the sensation of the steam on her face.

* * *

><p>"Master? Are you sure about your decision?" Karasu Tengu asked to the old man sitting before him.<p>

"Yes, I'm sure." Nurarihyon nodded. "If things go bad, she might not be able to control herself."

"But master... It would seem the opposite of the fact that she is unstable, don't you think?" Karasu Tengu argued.

"Do not let her appearance deceive you. She is changing too much, too quickly, and that could cause irrational emotions in which she may become more aggressive towards everything that she dislikes at the time. Even towards my grandson himself. Yuki-Onna has become overly obedient. That can be very dangerous if Rikuo were to give her the wrong order, or something that he doesn't really mean. And Crow Demon, have you noticed how strong she has been getting? If she were to loose her s in an extremely unstable state. Other than self-control, she will be highly capable of killing the unfortunate person. If Yuki-Onna couldn't revive what she threw away, she will no longer be eligible to be my grandson's aide. " Nurarihyon explained.

"Ah... I see..." Karasu Tengu nodded, slowly absorbing the information. "She will have to either choose to be the same, or change for the worst..."

"That is correct. My decision will be for the good of her, and the clan." Nurarihyon said, crossing his arms.

"Master?"

"Ah yes, Yuki-Onna. Come in and sit." He nodded. "Crow Demon, back off for a while, would you?"

Being the loyal servant he is, Karasu Tengu bowed respectfully and sat on his small cushion while Yuki-Onna came in and sat on the cushion before the old man. "What is it, master? Have I done something wrong? Am I going to be punished?"

"No, no, Yuki-Onna. You have not done anything wrong. I am just... Concerned about you. About your condition." He said, trying to push his point.

"What do you mean?"

"I can confidentially say that you have changed. A bit too fast for your own comfort, and I do not want you to permanently become what you are now." Nurarihyon said firmly. "As I have come to notice, you are turning cold, and bitter. You barely go to school unless my grandson tells you to. And you have lost most of your emotions such as happiness, and compassion. But most importantly, you have lost your free-will. It is because of those reasons that I have decided to send you to Mt. Nejireme so that you can calm down, and find who you_ need_ to be, in peace. If you couldn't, Rikuo will no longer be your master."

"Who I.. Need to be...?" Yuki-Onna repeated, slightly taken aback. "But... What does that mean...?"

"Yes. Who you _need_ to be. Not what _you_ or anyone else _wants_ you to be." The old man said. "Once you believe that you have your answer, come back and tell me. But I do hope you can survive. Yuki-Onna, do not worry about your duties while you are away. Aotabo will be fulfilling them for you."

"Yes... Of course master." She nodded. "How soon will I be leaving?"

"I suggest you go this afternoon. The sooner you start your journey, the sooner you will find your answer." Nurarihyon nodded. Yuki-Onna blinked slowly and nodded, showing him her smile. One that she does not mean. After bowing in respect, she stood up and headed back to accompany her master. Not long after the door slid shut, Karasu Tengu spoke up and said, "Are you sure about sending her away without the young master knowing?"

"Someone is bound to tell him anyway." Came Nurarihyon's blunt reply as he calmly shrugged his shoulders.


	2. How I froze: Where did Tsurara go?

"Noroi no Fubuki!" Yuki-Onna yelled, sending off an icy blue wind that instantly froze her practice dummy all the way down to the core. And after a few moments, the dummy shattered to pieces all on its own. Yuki-Onna merely stared as the straw and other parts of the dummy melted into water. This is how strong her powers have grown.

Yuki-Onna closed her eyes as she felt her power rise and recharge just as the sun started to set. A sudden flash and swirling wind appeared in the Nura household. Her master had just taken up his Night Form she would guess. But then, she had been late. Yuki-Onna started to rush towards the gate, but she accidentally passed her master who was heading to his favorite spot on the sakura tree branch. Not thinking twice, she moved faster.

"Tsurara." Night Rikuo's voice came from behind her, making her freeze. "Where are you going? In such a hurry too."

Yuki-Onna turned her eyes to the side without moving her head and an empty smile tugged her lips. She whirled around and met his intense gaze. "It's only a small task from Master Nurarihyon. I'll be back soon."

Rikuo shrugged his shoulders and kept walking. Yuki-Onna sighed silently. 'Soon' would be the understatement of the century. She could come back, but never stand by his side. Or she could not survive and die altogether. Because honestly, she doesn't believe that she can revive something that had broken down to pieces and shattered into an oblivion. She closed her eyes and a flashback went through her head.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback...<em>

_Yuki-Onna lied unconsciously inside a dark and hollow room. It had no doors. And no windows. It only had a rope hanging from the ridiculously tall room, and a hole on two of the walls. One where she and her master entered, and one where he exited, carrying Kana who was tied to the rope with him, but left her behind, covered in bruises and blood. Yuki-Onna looked up. There was no way she could jump that high._

_The villainous youkai had already fled and probably died along the way. So that won't be a problem anymore. But Yuki-Onna was pleased when she found out that he kidnapped Kana. But of course, Rikuo wanted to save her. She was really hoping that Kana would just be a thing of the past, but instead she became Rikuo's number one concern.  
><em>

_She decided to sit and wait for something to happen. Hours, and maybe days passed without anything happening. Tears flowed silently from her face as she closed her eyes. And after what seemed like a century, she opened them again and yelled as loud as her voice could go and bursted into sobbing fits as she violently released chilling winds. Why? Because she had just lost to a mere human who couldn't even hit an object without yelping. And this was her shattering point. This is where everything she dared to say all backfired on her._

_It was believed that when you fall for someone, you fall into a bottomless cliff where you can't climb up again. But when you confess it, and you are accepted, you will land in a beautiful world that resembles to heaven. But when you are rejected or betrayed, you will hit a ground filled with pointed rocks and poisoned scorpions that will endlessly sting you with all the hurt and all the pain that tears you apart. Just like real poison would. _

_And that was her. Stung with the poison of heartbrake._

_After all her rage had died down, Yuki-Onna looked around once again. She felt so empty. She felt like her soul had just left her body. It felt horrible and at the same time, it felt new. Yuki-Onna soon found herself walking towrads one of the walls. She touched it.__ Going with the mood, she froze it. Seeping the ice deeper into the metal wall until she froze it thoroughly. Then she touched it again. It felt so delicate, so fragile. And now, she punched it.__ Breaking the bones in her hand as she did so. But that didn't stop her. She flung her broken hand again, breaking more bones and cracking the ice slightly._

_Blood ran through her hand as she figured out that it won't be able to do anything anymore. So she flung her other hand and punched the ice harder, breaking her bones and the ice all at the same time. The frozen wall was just one more smash away from breaking. With a small strand of hope left, she threw another punch and effectively broke the ice, causing the frozen metal wall to fall apart, and leaving an escape hole._

_Her face remained expressionless at her accomplishment and walked out. The sun beaming at her hurt figure. She wiped away a remaining tear with her broken hand and walked with her arms limply hanging by her side. Her eyes were empty, and her mouth was frowned slightly as she headed back to the Nura household._

_She was never the same ever since. She had learned to bear no feeling._

* * *

><p>"So if I find myself... How much will the pain have grown?" She asked to herself. "Can I possibly bare it? Or will it kill me?"<p>

Exhaling in utter desperation, she rushed to the gate once again. Bursting it open as she did so, and ran into the empty and dark streets. Not really caring about the stares she had earned from the other youkais that were passing by, invisible to the human eye. She ran swiftly and gracefully, leaving a trail of chilled air behind her.

Time seemed to fly from her grasp as she mounted her first foot onto the rocky mountain ground. Her yellow eyes stared at the tree leaves above her. Now what? Sit around and sulk? No, no... Just... Remember. Yuki-Onna inhaled and exhaled as she sat in a meditation position on the ground, and looked into herself, closing her eyes. She asked herself a few questions like 'Why did I change' or 'how much pain had been sticking onto herself?' and she answered them easily.

But then, she saw something inside herself. Something white and shaky. She examined it closer and found a young girl that resembled much to herself, but she was beaten up, tattered, and crying. She approached herself, but Yuki-Onna was terrified to be her again. What if she gets hurt again?

She reached out a hand, trying to touch the figure, and as she drew near, the figure evaporated into her finger. Yuki-Onna pulled away instantly, opening her eyes in a flash, just as something similar to daggers stabbed into her back. She whirled her head around to see a giant spider youkai.

Her eyes sharpened and yelled as loudly as she could, "**NOROI NO FUBUKI!**"

Swirls of frozen air whipped around and grabbed the poor youkai, freezing it ultimately and causing it to break down to chunks of ice. Yuki-Onna coughed out a bit of blood and pulled out the frozen claw that had punctured through her back and out her stomach. "D-damn... I can really put my guard down." She chuckled coldly to herself. And then, she snapped the ice claw apart with just the grip of her hand.

Suddenly, hissing sounds and snapping where heard. Yuki-Onna looked up and saw twelve dozen more spider youkais. She groaned angrily as they charged to avenge their fallen member. Yuki-Onna summoned a blade of ice to her left hand and prepared to counterattack as fiercely as she could in her current fatal condition.

* * *

><p>"Master, master!" Nato Kid yelled panickedly to Rikuo who was sitting casually on the sakura tree. "Master, you will miss your meeting with your grandfather if you don't hurry!"<p>

"What are you doing? Last time I checked, it was Tsurara's job to boss me around like that." Rikuo muttered in a clearly annoyed tone.

"Master there is no time to talk about that! Your grandfather is expecting you!" Nato Kid yelled once again. His stress getting worse and worse by the second. Rikuo found that amusing in his own twisted way, and decided to toy around with him some more.

"Calm down, Nato. If I really am running late, Tsurara would be here right now." He said calmly, shrugging his shoulders lightly. Nato yelled at the top of his lungs while rambling how Nurarihyon won't be happy about his current situation, and accidentally yelled out something that finally caught the young master's attention.

"**TSURARA ISN'T HERE! SHE LEFT A WHILE AGO AND HASN'T COME BACK AND YOUR GRANDFATHER PUT ME IN CHARGE OF YOU BECAUSE KUBINASHI HAD MATTERS TO ATTEND TO AND HE DOESN'T TRUST YOHIME TO LOOK AFTER YOU, NOW PLEASE GO AND SEE YOUR GRANDFATHER, MAAAASTEEEER!**" Nato yelled at the top of his lungs while tears rained from his eyes like fountains.

"Wait, Tsurara isn't here?" Rikuo asked, finally jumping down from his branch, making Nato gasp and bow to him in shock, planting his face to the ground as he did so. "She hasn't come back yet?"

The small youkai looked up, dirt stuck on his face and said, "Well yes... No one really knew where she went." And then his face turned smug as he got an idea. "Maybe you should ask your grandfather about it...?"

"Very well, you win Nato." Rikuo sighed walking away. Nato grinned (If that's possible) and pumped his tiny fist in the air. Rikuo could care less as he made heavy steps to his grandfather's large room. He slid the door open and sat on the cushion in front of the elderly youkai who was sipping his tea calmly. "Rikuo, you shouldn't keep your grandfather waiting like that." Nurarihyon said.

"Cut the crap old man, I just want to know where Tsurara went." Rikuo cut in sharply.

Nurarihyon smirked leaned to Karasu Tengu who was sitting on his left and smugly said, "I told you someone was bound to tell him anyway..." The crow demon sighed and nodded, "I guess you were right, master..."

Nurarihyon chuckled proudly and turned to his grandson once again, "Now, Rikuo... About your question..."


End file.
